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Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Thursday, 28 July 2011
"O Lord, You are the Master of the Universe, You are the
Author and Finisher of our Faith, You are the Alpha and the
Omega, the Beginning and the End, Creator God, True
God, Almighty God, Everlasting Father, You are the
Great Most High. Lord, I thank You for what You have
done for this teabag and for how You are going to
expand it from single serve to family size."
Monday, 25 July 2011
And now, from a lobbyist for the former planet Pluto, a public
service message: "I would like to lodge a complaint against
God for focusing all of the Solar System's attention on
Planet Earth!"
If the world of music seems bigger to you than God, it is.
Music is the God beyond God.
Friday, 22 July 2011
A recently-released survey finds that only 52%
of American voters approve of God's job
performance. A debate is now raging as
to whether He should be primaried in 2012.
Friday, 15 July 2011
"I was called to the ministry at age 27. Today, the governor's
office is my pulpit, where God has put me at this time to do
his will. So I think that it's time for us to just hand the
government over to God and say, 'God, you're going to
have to fix this.'"
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Asheenist (a-sheen´-ist) n. A goddess who no longer
believes in Charlie Sheen. [Natalie Kenley is now an
asheenist.]
Monday, 27 June 2011
While receiving messages from God, Michele
Bachmann's hands function as antennae.
Friday, 24 June 2011
Chairman of Federal Reserve Considering
Appeal to Thousand-Handed Goddess of
Mercy to Help Accelerate Slow-Growth
Economic Recovery
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Sign of the Times #14
"I am thankful for laughter," God said, "except when
milk comes out of my nose."
Saturday, 11 June 2011
When God tired of trying to figure out who to back in the
GOP presidential primary, He decided to take a nap.
Thursday, 9 June 2011
"I wanted to be a billionaire, but I had to
settle for being a Child of God. Amen."
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
"Heaven's Big Boy says He was speaking allegorically, not
literally, when He told you to sacrifice your son."
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